The Guard : Greetings
by Ebony Shaw
Summary: Background: Middle of Season 7. Daniel is offworld on a archaeology field trip, while Jonas pops back to say Hi.
1. Part 1

As the last chevron locked and the blue shimmering water-like vortex bursts out of the stargate, a small robotic arm emerges from the event horizon and the camera turns 90 degrees to the left and right, then the rest of the probe trundles through onto the new world. Five pillars topped with crystal orbs line the pathway leading towards a large stone building. As the sun shines onto the orbs the light is refracted causing a rainbow effect covering the footpath. The probe slowly makes its way forward in the general direction of the towering stone building.

Meanwhile, a short-blonde-haired woman is sat in front of the main computer typing quickly on the keyboard, while a tall, dark-haired man is stood behind her, looking closely at the monitor and pointing out interesting features on the planet that he can see.

"Can you get a close up on that building?" he says enthusiastically.

"Moving M.A.L.P ten meters forward." The image on the monitor slowly zooms in as the M.A.L.P travels up the path and then distorts momentarily as if there was a power surge. The image clears and they get a reasonably clear picture and then the image short circuits out.

"What happened?" asks a concerned looking older man.

"I don't know sir; the M.A.L.P went off line, trying to re-establish contact"

"What Carter is trying to say General is, it's dead"

"Jonas we don't know that for sure, I'm skipping back to the last frame we received from the M.A.L.P..." an image of the stone building comes into focus on the monitor. Jonas spots a shimmer in the image,

"Lets get a close up on that" he says tapping on the screen. Carter digitally enhances that section of the screen, a Greek-looking symbol fades in. Jonas instantly recognises it. "That's upsilon."

"Excuse me" says the General, a little confused by Jonas' outburst.

"That's upsilon; it's the ancient Greek letter U but you write it as Y in your language."

"We may have a slight problem recovering the M.A.L.P" Carter interrupts.

"Why?"

"Well General, it was disabled, watch..." Carter plays back the tape and still-frames a women coming out from behind a wall and aiming at the M.A.L.P. Carter lets the tape play frame by frame and they see a faint blue electrical surge pass over the image which then goes black.

"That looks like a zat blast."

Jonas quickly turns round in surprise "Colonel! Good evening"

The Colonel looks at his watch.

"Morning actually. General, they have Goa'uld weapons; I say we should check it out."

The General doesn't get a chance to voice his objection as Jonas automatically steps in.

"We've never come across a Greek Goa'uld so"

"Just because we haven't met one doesn't mean there not out there"

"Carter shut up, we've been on base for three friggin weeks, stop giving the General reasons not to send us! Sir do we have a go."

General Hammond nods his approval "Take Teal'c with you, SG-1 report back in four hours."

SG-1 walk out of the event horizon which closes behind them, Carter scans the area and picks up an energy signature. The four of them make their way to the D.H.D, Jonas seems fascinated and his blue eyes light up at the natural beauty. Carter dials the D.H.D swiftly and the gate powers up.

"SG-1 to General Hammond, we have arrived on the planet, Jonas is making mud pies and Carter wants to bring home one of the light thingies on top of the pillars."

"There energy orbs with an energy signature higher than I ever thought possible"

"Yes sir one of those things, we'll report back in four hours, O'Neill - oh crap " Four zaps rip through the air followed by four thuds.

O'Neill wakes up and sluggishly says "Oww... My head hurts..." as he ruffles his graying brown hair.

"Well I do believe Major Carter told you so." says an odd voice

"Major Davis, what the hell are you doing here"

"Same as you sir, getting captured, by the way you might like to know Major Carter's father and another To'kra came through with us but they were placed with the infidel in another cell... I imagine the infidel is Teal'c as he isn't here with us."

Colonel O'Neill looks round. "Where is Carter?" he asks.

In the corner of the holding cell the light rays are disturbed as Jonas bolts up into a sitting position.

"Where are we?"

"We are still on P9Y-847." says Major Davis

"Well... Yes. But where exactly are we"

"In a stinking holding cell, somewhere, specific enough for ya?

They are interrupted by the opening of the main door as a young male, dressed in white trousers with a white thigh length tunic, tied at the waist with a red sash comes through. O'Neill, Jonas and SG-3 all stand and watch as the young boy struggles with the second door as he juggles a tray with a jug and six earthenware mugs on it.

All the men wince as the young lad half jumps, half falls down the few stairs that lead down to the cells. He makes his way to the cell occupied by O'Neill, Jonas and SG-3 and manages to unlock the cell door, whilst doing this however he loses his balance and nearly drops the tray, gaining another gasp from his intrigued audience. Deciding that it would be easier to hold the tray with both hands he proceeds to open the door with his left foot and enters the holding cell followed by the stares of six fully grown men looking at a child that could do something they couldn't. The young boy leaves the tray on the floor and then locks the door on his way out.

The main door opens slightly as an older boy steps through looking worried.

"Come on Alec, we're late, firing range... NOW"

"Yes Zak..." the boy turns and does a little hop, skip and a jump. "Yeah, weapons" he cheers and runs out, totally forgetting the keys left swinging in the cell door.

The men all look at each other for a second, O'Neill then shakes his head and laughs under his breath as he walks up to the door, puts his arm through the cell bars and reaches round to unlock the door with the discarded keys. They each make their way out of the cell, Jonas is the last person through and he slowly closes the cell door behind him muttering "Well...thank you Alec."

O'Neill makes his way up the stairs and through the first door followed by SG-3 and Jonas. Amazingly they all manage to fit in to the gap between the first door and the automatic door that will only open when the inner door is securely closed. O'Neill cautiously scans the corridor for guards and after deciding which way is out he leads SG-3 and Jonas out of the building.

They cautiously make their way towards the stargate, totally unaware of the two guards that have spotted them from their posts. The guards send a message.

"We have six unauthorised personnel attempting to activate the stargate, call The Guard"

The men make it to the stargate and Major Davis dials up the stargate.

"Might I suggest we hold the gate whilst you go and get the rest? The penal cells are round the other side of the building."

"OK, Major hold the gate for as long as possible but you are to return to the SGC if we are not back when forces arrive."

Meanwhile, in the heart of the city, four girls wearing very formal ball gowns are slowly making their way up the hundred odd steps leading up to the towering golden doors.

"Why the hell did I agree to this, I could be at home figuring out that new device." says a very annoyed looking dark haired girl.

"Oh come on Tash, you know you love it really, getting all doled up for your best friend's mother's birthday, what's not fun about that" a tall, red-haired girl throws back over her shoulder as she makes her way up the steps in front of the rest of them.

"Err... Harmony maybe it's the fact that I can hardly walk in these stupid shoes and I CANT BREATHE" she pauses a takes a deep breath and then continues "AND... Looking like I do I'll have to put up with that stupid nadir chasing after me all afternoon"

An important looking girl in a bright red dress with a blood red surcoat over the top catches up with the other girls just in time to break up the argument that's about to escalate and jumps in with,

"Because I ordered you to, and if you can't breathe I should have collapsed by now wearing this dress. Now get up those stairs and act happy to see people before I really lose my temper" as she stomps off in a very unlady-like manner, leaving the others to trail behind her.

"You know you should never really get Serena upset; she usually ends up being right." says a slightly shorter girl with long blonde hair who looks considerably younger than she actually is as she walks past the other two girls who just look at each other and shrug their shoulders and follow them up the stairs.

As they reach the door, it is opened by footmen and each girl is announced.

"Lady Serena Aria." announces the first footman

"Miss Harmony Yorkis." announces the second footman

"Miss Natasha Satyr." says the first footman

"Miss Deanna Attaché." says the second footman, as the shorter blonde haired girl makes it through the door as it is closed behind them.

"Serena, darling" screams an older looking women with greying brunette hair, pinned up with an elaborate gold hairpin which covers most of the bunned hair.

"Hello mother, how are you..." says Serena as she is kissed on each cheek by her pompous mother

"So" asks her expectant mother.

"She didn't get you anything." says Natasha landing her already stressed friend in it.

Only to be immediately pushed up against the wall by an angry Serena who hisses,

"What do you get a women who already has everything" before letting her friend stand on her own two feet again.

As Serena turns back to her mother, she has acquired a young blonde haired man smiling sweetly at her. Serena's eyes flick from her mother's to the young man and then over to Harmony pleading for help.

"Who is this, mother...?" Serena says trying her best not to look too scared

"This is Sir Casper, darling, marry him and I will forget the birthday present"

"Mother, you say that every year and every year it's a different man, and every year I don't, you see the trend here..."

"Serena, lets get punch..." says Harmony as she links arms with Serena and drags her off towards the drinks. Deanna and Natasha join them.

The four girls are sat round the table with the punch on, slowly working their way through all of it.

"Hey Tash, you've got a shadow, looks like I'm not the only one with an admirer" laughs Serena

"Oh no, he's coming over, I can't even remember his name" says a worried Tash.

"His name's Alistair... Crap there's Casper" says an even more worried Serena.

Both Alistair and Casper make their way over.

"Excuse me Lady Serena could I ask for this dance?" he asks Serena. He then turns to Natasha "And my brother Alistair is a little shy but he would like this dance with you."

Serena and Natasha both look very scared and look at each other and try to come up with a plan to escape.

A young male enters the hall and manages to find the four girls "Err... Commander Serena, we have a situation"

Serena jumps up and throws her arms round the startled young male and thanks him.

"Commander?" the guard coughs and blushes.

"Oh sorry, Sir Casper, Alistair, thanks for the offer, but we have to go now so - bye" says an eager Serena as she turns on her heel and runs as quickly as possible in her dress out towards the door. Natasha scoots past Alistair as quickly as she can and kicks her shoes off under the nearest table as she runs out, followed by Harmony and Deanna who are giggling at the eagerness of their friends to get away from the two men.

As they run through the doors and down the steps out into the forecourt they realise their autoskim is nowhere in sight. Their chauffeur recognises them and instantly joins them to see what the problem is.

"Lady Serena, did the ball finish already"

"No. Where's the autoskim?" questions an irritable Serena

"Commander, I'm afraid it is unavailable; I cannot get to it..." says the chauffeur as he ruffles his blonde hair to hide his embarrassment.

"What do you mean you can't get to it? It's supposed to be there whenever we need it! What are we gonna do now?" asks a frustrated Harmony.

"We could run..." Natasha suggests.

"In these shoes" Harmony asks, giving her friend a 'look'. "I don't think so."

Deanna, who has been ignoring the conversation so far looks over.

"We could borrow that one." she suggests, rather out of the blue. The other three girls stop arguing and look at her in surprise. "What?" Deanna asks "I mean it's not as if it's illegal or..." she trails off into silence as all three girls look at each other.

"OK." announces Serena as she makes her way over to the nearest autoskim.

Natasha turns to the chauffeur.

"Do you have a long piece wire on you" the chauffeur hands her a hair clip which she unwinds and then joins the other three at the autoskim.

"It's locked" Deanna informs the others, things seeming hopeless again.

"And" Natasha says as she picks the lock on the driver's door. All the other doors open automatically as the driver's door is opened, and the four girls climb into the car-like vehicle. Natasha sticks the hair clip into the ignition and the autoskim rises slowly to about two foot off the ground.

"Tash, please tell me you know how to drive this thing..." asks a concerned Deanna, her eyes worried.

"Uh... Do you want the long or the short answer..." Natasha asks. Harmony once more deals out a 'look'. Natasha curiously looks over all the different buttons. "Wonder what this does..." she presses a green flashing button.

The autoskim goes. And how. The others shriek as the vehicle flies forward at an alarming rate. Natasha presses another button and manages to bring the autoskim under control. Inscribed on the front panel is a map, Harmony presses the image of the Hall of Guard and it sets into autopilot, once more giving Natasha a 'look'.

"I'm never letting you hi-jack an autoskim again."

Since securing the gate with SG-3, O'Neill and Jonas have found Teal'c, Anise, who is wearing a very revealing tan mini dress showing more flesh than is actually covered, and Jacob, and have made it back to the Stargate. Jacob is looking distressed as they approach SG-3.

"Where's Sam" Jacob asks turning to O'Neill, worried.

"We're not sure." O'Neill answers quickly, he then turns. "Major Davis, get your team through the gate and report to General Hammond, and take Anise with you"

The stargate activates and just as the last of SG-3 make it through the stargate, SG-1 and Jacob are surrounded by a dozen mean-looking women in pale and normal red tunics holding something half way between a zat and an Earth hand gun. Being unarmed is a slight problem for SG-1 and Jacob so they decide the best thing to do is to surrender.

"I'm Jonas Quinn, we mean you no harm, we're peaceful explorers from the planet earth..." says Jonas in an attempt to communicate calmly, but the women don't seem to understand. He is about to try again when the circle of women around them parts slightly and four young women walk into the middle of the circle. It is clear they are more important than the others, given the fact they are wearing ballgowns. The members of SG-1 swap confused (and in O'Neill's case, amused) looks.

"I am Commander Serena of the City Guard" The woman in red announces, then motions to the tall woman in green beside her. "This is Chief Engineer Harmony Yorkis." She then motions to the woman in black. "This is Chief Scientist Natasha Satyr." Finally she motions to the last woman. "And this is Chief Diplomat Deanna Attaché."

O'Neill clears his throat.

"Nice dresses..." he coughs and quickly continues "So you girls in charge or is one of your fathers going to join us shortly" He receives a glare from all four girls, the Chief Engineer looking particularly murderous.

Jonas jumps in, anxious to diffuse any possible situation that might occur if O'Neill says anything else.

"Colonel... The one in red said she was the Commander..."

"And" O'Neill asks, a little confused.

"You probably just insulted them, and seeing as they've got the weapons... Well..."

"Jonas, just get to the point" says the now rather annoyed Colonel.

"Err... Colonel. Shut up." Jonas says plainly, not one-hundred-percent sure saying it was a wise action.

It is clear the Commander is about to lose her temper again when the Diplomat puts a hand up to stop her.

"Serena, don't forget they're just men, and if they did come through the stargate it is most likely they don't know our customs."

"What do you mean we're only men" O'Neill says trying not to laugh at the fact Jonas has taken a good step away from both himself and the newly-arrived women.

"Colonel O'Neill, they seem to be a female dominated society." states Teal'c matter-of-factly.

"No shit, Sherlock." O'Neill growls dryly. "How did you guess that" he adds sarcastically. Teal'c, still unused to the concept of sarcasm, especially when delivered by O'Neill, continues.

"It appears that only the females are armed with a weapon." He states. "Also, Major Carter was placed elsewhere within the facility"

"Your commander, Major Carter, was placed in the secure guest quarters." The Engineer inputs, giving the men another dangerous look.

"Well I hate to burst your bubble, but I'm in command of this team, so how come I wasn't placed in the royal bedroom" O'Neill snaps, irritated that the women were demeaning his position.

"You're a man! What is a woman doing taking orders from a man" sneers the Commander.

"She will be questioned later" The Chief Scientist speaks up once more. "But in the meantime you will return to you're cells until we are ready to question you as well."

"Are you absolutely sure your father isn't supposed to be here" O'Neill directly asks her, wondering whether he might perhaps get more sense from her than the clearly irate Commander. He was wrong. Her temper obviously gone, the scientist rushes forward and grabs him, forcing him back up against the nearest column, pinning his left arm between him and said column and forcing her forearm up against his neck.

"My father" she hisses. "Is dead." She appears to wish to say something else, but is interrupted by the Commander, who snaps something to her in an alien tongue. The scientist steps back and lets Colonel O'Neill drop the two inches to his feet. The Engineer steps forward and mutters something that was too quiet for the members of SG-1 to hear. The three men exchange glances once more, wondering what they had gotten themselves into this time. The Commander nods to the six other women surrounding SG-1 and the To'kra, and they usher them back to the Hall of Guard. They are all placed in the same penal cells.

"Well, if this is the lap of luxury I'd hate to see where criminals are held." O'Neill says sarcastically. The girls ignore him as they lock the door.

"O'Neill, we are indeed back in the penal cells, to what extent do you mean by luxury, we are prisoners after all." Teal'c questions, slightly bemused.

"Teal'c, I think the Colonel means"

"Jonas, Teal'c knows what I meant, don't you?" O'Neill quickly interrupts Jonas as he is about to explain. Teal'c, after a moment's pause, just nods his head and raises an eyebrow in acknowledgement.

As the girls go to turn and leave Jacob, who has been unusually quiet decides it's his turn to ask the questions.

"Excuse me, please, where is Major Carter"

"As we said before she is being held in secure quarters." The Commander responds shortly, then quickly exits the room followed by the blonde Diplomat. "You two, watch them" she adds as she closes the door behind them.

The remaining two, the dangerous-looking Engineer and still-angry Scientist, make their way to chairs either side of the prison doors.

Jacob looks at them, then tries to communicate with them once more, choosing the less angry and outwardly-violent woman; the Engineer.

"Would it be possible for me to see Major Carter"

"Why" comes the curious answer.

"She is my daughter, I'd just like to check if she's ok."

"What, so you can plot another escape?" the Engineer's voice became scathing. "I don't think so."

Serena and Deanna reach Serena's office. Serena unlocks the door and they enter, Deanna lingering by the door as Serena quickly walks over to her desk and scribbles on a piece of paper.

"Deanna, you can take the autoskim we - um - 'borrowed' and return it with this letter, and can you tell my mother, Sirs Casper and Alistair that we will not be returning this evening due to unforeseen circumstances linked with the safety of The Guard and our people."

"If I can remember all that, yes." Deanna replies, looking remarkably bemused. She takes the note and leaves.

Serena is busy scribbling on a piece of paper when a flustered Deanna hurries through the door and closes it behind her, breathless and flustered.

"Did you give them the message" Serena asks, not even looking up.

"Yes, yes, but your mother was not pleased... She got over it when it was her turn to do a speech... As for sirs Casper and Alistair, the nadirs decided they were going to try and follow me back here..." Deanna replies, flapping her hand in front of her face in an effort to cool herself down.

"And what did you do about it" queried Serena, slightly worried, as she knew her friend well.

"Err..." there is a silence as Deanna tries to think of the best way to phrase her next sentence. "I... Well... Disabled them..." she chooses her words carefully. Serena looks at her, a little confused.

"What do you mean, 'disabled'..." she questions, not really wanting to know the answer.

"Well lets just say they won't be walking for a week or two." Deanna answers, chuckling to herself. Serena starts to laugh as well. After their little giggling session, Deanna turns to leave.

"Um Deanna? Can you come with me and help me send this message through the Stargate"

"Can I change first..." Deanna says, looking down at her crumpled lilac ball gown and comparing it to Serena's tidy black trousers and purple top.

"Yes, as long as you're quick about it." Serena answers.

As the last chevron locks, the young technician announces "Chevron seven locked, closing the iris."

A larger bald man joins the technician in the control room after hearing the alarm go off and seeing the warning lights start spinning and flashing red.

"What have we got Lieutenant"

"Unscheduled off world activation, no G.D.O signal coming through sir, we are however receiving a transmission, audio only."

"Pipe it through."

"People of Earth, I am Commander Serena Aria of the Nysian Guard. Your nadir and their commander Major Samantha Carter are within our - care. If you want them and the infidels back, we will talk. Return signal within a nacre, or the infidels you call Jacob and Teal'c will be executed."

"End of transmission..." says the Lieutenant a little confused looking at the General.

"Keep me apprised." orders the General as he makes he way back up the stairs to the briefing room.

"SG-3, what the hell happened on P9Y-847, and is Colonel O'Neill still alive"

"Well the last time we saw SG-1, minus Major Carter they were being surrounded by some guards... But I don't believe that they would have killed any member of SG-1"

"And what makes you so sure, Major Davis" questions a very angry General Hammond.

"They were all women and seemed to be a female dominated society"

"Where was Major Carter" interrupts the General.

"We don't know and neither did any of SG-1 or Jacob..."

"OK, we just got this transmission through from a woman on P9Y-847." General Hammond replays the transmission. As the last notes of Commander Aria's voice fade out, Hammond turns to Major Davis.

"What is a nacre" He demands.

"No idea... But I think it's something to do with the amount of time we have to get back to them..."

"Major Davis, if we don't know what a nacre is, we don't know what amount of time we have to contact them, we could have already passed that point."

"General I would recommend we call them back now and hope they haven't killed anyone by then."

"Agreed, Major Davis inform SG-9 that they may be needed, have them prepped and ready to go just in case."

"Yes, sir." Major Davis leaves and the rest of SG-3 are dismissed.

Sighing to himself, General Hammond starts making his way across the briefing room and towards the spiral stairs leading to the Control Room, when he is addressed.

"General Hammond" a distorted female voice from the briefing room table floats over to him. He stops.

"Anise, what can I do for you"

"I must return to the To'kra and inform the council of our situation" the blonde women says.

"You will be able to return once I have contacted the Nysians and arranged a meeting place and time." General Hammond then continues down the stairs and in to the control room followed by Anise.

"Lieutenant, dial up P9Y-847 immediately."

"Yes sir."

The stargate starts its slow move clockwise as each chevron locks and lights up. As the last chevron locked the gate activates.

"This is General Hammond of the planet Earth. We agreed to talks over the release of my people."

"We will meet; I must insist that you bring no lethal weapons. My chief diplomat and I will be at the Omega Plateau shortly, a guard squad will be present making our number 10. You will be allowed to bring yourself, your head diplomat and 8 others. The address for the Omega Plateau will follow in code..." A pause. "You have the code"

"Yes we do, may I ask who I am talking to"

"I am Commander Serena Aria of the city Guard."

"I will depart as soon as possible."

"Goodbye."

General Hammond turns and picks up the nearest grey phone.

"SG-9 to the embarkation room." Then he puts the phone back on it's hook and turns to Anise. "You may return to the To'kra and return immediately with 4 of your diplomats, we do not have much time."


	2. Part 2

Back on the planet Nysa, the red hair woman has been left to interrogate SG-1 as her friend goes off to change after they have interviewed O'Neill. Harmony decides that she's going to interrogate Jonas on her own.

The interrogation room was a simple four walled room with one lone light bulb dangling from the ceiling in the middle. Under this was a plain metal table with two chairs at either end of it. The door opens and slams into the wall behind as Jonas is pushed through it by an infatuated Harmony in black trousers and a brown tunic. Jonas decides it would be safer for him to immediately sit in the chair furthest away.

"So, Harmony isn't it, what have we done wrong? Why are we being held as prisoners? And what have you done about contacting our superiors?"

"Firstly, I'm asking the questions." the girl smiles, showing her teeth. "Yes, I am Chief Engineer Harmony Yorkis," she adds, although it seems somewhat pointless. "Now. Why are you here?"

Natasha is now in her normal uniform, consisting of black boots, black trousers and an emerald green long-sleeved tunic. She goes back to the penal cells and immediately notices that one of the men is missing. After a few quick words she has the information she needs and makes her way to the interrogation room. She doesn't bother knocking and walks straight in, and just stares at the man, Jonas Quinn, handcuffed to one of the chairs with her friend Harmony sat on his lap in a rather compromising position.

"What the hell do you think you're doing" she screams and receives dazed looks from both Harmony and Jonas. "I suggest you untie him, take him back to his cell and then go and see the commander and explain your behaviour. I am going to speak with Commander of their team" Natasha says, a little calmer as she tries not to laugh; as Harmony gets off his lap and unties him, she can see their obvious embarrassment.

Tash makes her way round the last corner and comes face to face with a male and a female officer wearing mid red tunics, both guards recognise her and stand to attention. She nods to the female and the officers open the double doors, Natasha walks in to the room and the double doors shut behind her. The room has beautiful furniture and all four walls are yellowish-gold in colour. The most predominant item in the room is a curtained four poster bed; the silk veils that are drooped over the canopy are white and embroidered with gold Greek symbols. A dresser covered in jars and pots is directly opposite the door with a large arched mirror, there is a window either side of it and at the foot of the bed there is a wooden chest. Between the leftmost window and the bed there is a large wardrobe. Directly opposite the bed there is an elaborate white marble fireplace, with three white church candles.

"Commander Carter-" Natasha begins but is interrupted by Cater.

"Um, actually I'm a Major not a Commander"

"So it is true, you take orders from that foolish nadir called O'Neill"

"Yes, and he's not that bad once you get to know him... Why did you capture us?" Carter tries to get better understanding of SG-1's situation.

"You came through the Stargate and we could not risk a civilian finding out that we have a piece of alien technology on this planet."

"OK so can I ask why our M.A.L.P gave us two different images before and after we passed 30 metres from the Stargate?"

"We have a shield in place which creates an illusion of the stargate so if it does activate or we want to activate it civilians will see no different." Natasha explains.

"That's amazing, what about the crystal orbs that are on the pillars lining the walk way, they have an energy signature higher than I ever thought possible!"

"I theorised that they were originally placed there by the original gate builders; when I examined the orbs and used the flake-reatomiser it gave me the chemical formula for obsidian."

"Clear obsidian?" says Carter a little surprised.

"Yes we have many different varieties of obsidian depending on the location on the planet. Anyway, I checked the sample and I showed chemical hydration which gave a date of 50,095,869 T, however I didn't believe it was possible because we've only been on this planet for just over 4,000 years so I double checked using Magnetostratigraphy but it gave me roughly the same date." Natasha says quickly, getting into her stride.

"Those obsidian orbs, what are they used for?" Carter asks enthusiastically.

"We use them mainly as decoration but they do power the force shield which surrounds the stargate." Natasha is about to explain in more detail when she is interrupted by a trainee with a green sash entering.

"Chief Science Officer" the boy stands at attention and continues when Natasha gives a little nod. "Commander Serena has just left for the talks and wishes you to take over command whilst she is gone."

"Thank you, dismissed." Natasha says, waving a dismissive hand. Both Carter and Natasha watch as the young boy exits and the door is closed behind him.

"Er - I hate to be rude but what talks are being held?" Carter asks curiously, the female-run planet being of great interest to her.

"Your leader has agreed to talks over the release of you and your team." answers Natasha.

"Why are we actually being held captive? What do you want in return?"

"I'm not entirely sure but I think Serena is planning on sharing our information and technology in return for full disclosure of the stargate network; we believe that if we are able to form an alliance with different worlds then we can gain a better understanding of what is awaiting us when we finally set up a stargate system which will allow us to explore." Natasha explains in detail.

"And you think that we can help you with that?"

"Major Carter, you and your team are the first people that have come through the stargate since any of us can remember." Natasha explains. "After your capture Serena decided that we could use this to our advantage, however we are finding it more difficult due to the amount of people who have to kept in the dark about the stargate. Most people believe the stargate to be an ornament which was placed by our ancestors as a symbol of hope and loyalty; they have yet to discover the truth."

"You are in a similar situation to us," Carter muses possibilities over. "Maybe..." she says slowly. "Maybe you can become an SG team, this will mean we will be able to use your scientific knowledge and it will enable you to explore without raising suspicions here." she offers.

"Is that allowed?" Natasha sounds hopeful.

"If you would take me to where the talks are being held I am almost certain that General Hammond will listen to our proposal." Carter says hoping that Natasha allows her to talk to General Hammond. Natasha contemplates Carter's idea and then turns and walks to the closed doors, she knocks once and the door opens she walks out but keeps the door open.

"Guards you are relieved of your duties here."

"What do you mean, you think our way of dealing with this situation is appalling?" an angry Serena asks but doesn't wait for an answer. "SG-1 and the infidels were a security risk and we dealt with them the only way we know how!" Turning to General Hammond she asks, "So tell me again why you are in league with these Goa'uld?"

"Commander Serena, as we have said twice already, we are not Goa'uld. We appose the system lords and hope to one day defeat them; we are the To'kra, not Goa'uld!" Anise is starting to lose her temper with the obstinate Serena.

"And how can we be sure of that?" Deanna, now in her sky blue uniform, asks her voice less demanding than Serena's.

"I give you my word that the To'kra are safe, they have in fact saved our lives on more than one occasion." General Hammond offers but it does little to calm Serena.

"And you expect me to believe you. With all due respect General, you come from a male dominated society, we do not trust men."

"Commander Serena we have come here to discuss the release of our people, what is you want from us in exchange for the release of SG-1 and Jacob?" Anise gets to the point.

"We want nothing from the Goa'uld." Serena states matter-of-factly

"Once again I tell you we are not Goa'uld!"

The undergrowth of the forest was thick and Natasha had to beat back some of the undergrowth in order for herself and Major Carter to walk through. Carter was amazed to see how much of the undergrowth was identical to that which is found on Earth and decides that if she is to convince General Hammond that these people are civilised she must find out more about their history.

"So Natasha, where did your people originally come from?"

"Most of our history documents say that our ancestors were the very last of a race known as the Trojans and were brought to this planet by Athena during the Trojan War." Natasha pauses whilst she attacks a clump of undergrowth with a stick. "I was told that before my family got disarticulated from the system, a Goa'uld named Apophis came through the stargate. He killed Athena and took over everything. My ancestors planned to rebel, but Apophis found out. My great grandfather was killed the rest of the family were sent through the stargate and never heard of since." Carter is shocked when she hears this and contemplates whether or not to continue. After a pause she does.

"So how are you here now?"

"My grandmother, who was one of six children, went into hiding for a year. A rebellion lead by the Horae, the High Priestesses of law, justice and peace, was able to overpower Apophis' Jaffa until there was no one left. They gave Apophis the choice of leaving or dying. He left through the stargate and we haven't seen or heard anything about him since then."

"Well I think you'd like to know he's dead." Carter states plainly.

"How?" Natasha is not surprised at the news but does seem to want to know how Carter knows.

"We killed him."

The conversation between the two stops as they walk out of the forest into a clearing. The light from the sun shines through the trees and is refracted into hundreds of rays. In the middle of the clearing stands a cream and green pavilion with red and purple flags waving slightly in the light breeze. As they approached the tent the entrance flaps are not opened by an armed guard as they are supposed to be. Natasha cautiously walks through the entrance flaps followed by Carter. There is a lot of shouting when they enter the room. General Hammond is sitting at one end of a long table looking displeased, there is a lot of broken glass on the floor which is puzzling to both Carter and Natasha until they see Anise throwing the last glass left at Serena who ducks in time for it to skim over her head and collide with the wall of the tent two inches from Natasha. The rest of the guards, SG-9 and the To'kra are all fighting among them selves in the corner. Natasha realises that there is no way they are going to be able to speak too anyone whilst they are all fighting.

Carter shouts in order for Natasha to hear her.

"Maybe I can push my way through to General Hammond, without getting hit..."

"I've got a better idea" Natasha shouts back as she takes a small glass object out of her emergency bag. She throws it under the large table, grabs Carter's arm and hurries out of the pavilion. As they make it out of the second entrance, the side of the tent bulges outwards until the ties for that panel snap and the section falls to the ground along with a much disorientated Lieutenant followed by a billow of black smoke.

"What the hell was that?" Carter asks, surprised and slightly impressed.

"A smoke vial, two reactive liquids mix when the seal is broken and it produces a black smoke, it is harmless but very affective in situations like that." Natasha explains, just a little smugly.

They make their way in to the pavilion and everyone is still coughing and spluttering.

"Natasha what the hell are you doing here? I left you in charge back home." Serena looks suspiciously at Carter. "And what is she doing here?"

"Serena, she has offered us something which I think is what we want, but she needs to speak to her leader General Hammond before anything is agreed, and as for home, I left Harmony in charge."

"That's why I left you in charge." Serena says sarcastically. Carter has made her way over to where General Hammond is sat. Whilst Serena and Natasha argue, Carter asks General Hammond about her idea

"Sir, I think that we should consider taking them on as a new SG team, I could definitely use Natasha's knowledge about Naquada, and it sounds like they have had their own experiences of Apophis; they managed to kill all his Jaffa guards and most of the Nysians survived, exactly how they did it I don't know but I think we could benefit from this."

"I don't think the president will allow us to, it's against regulations to have aliens under our command." Hammond replies tiredly.

"Teal'c and Jonas are aliens, sir..." Carter points out, hoping the General will reconsider.

"What does Colonel O'Neill say about this?"

"Actually General, I haven't seen him since our capture." Carter quickly realises that O'Neill won't like the idea and continues, hoping that she can organise this before O'Neill gets a look in. "But I'm sure he'll agree!"

"Commander Serena I am willing to allow four of your people to join us at the SGC on earth, but it does mean that they will be under my command. In return we would like to receive technology and information."

"Deal, Deanna-" before Serena can finish her sentence Deanna jumps in.

"Printing it now!" she hands Serena the piece of paper and both the General and the Commander sign it, instantly making them allies.

"Natasha takes Carter back to Nysa, we'll return once we have arranged the times and who will be transferred to Earth."

"Commander Serena, can I release the others?" Natasha asks on her way out.

"Yes, why not? Let's make a habit of it." Serena says sarcastically.

Natasha and Carter go back to Nysa and release everyone, they then return to the Omega Plateau. Harmony and Jonas say goodbye thinking they will never see each other again. All SG personnel and the To'kra leave, the girls and the Guards go home.

Serena, Harmony and Natasha are stood near to the stargate, whilst Deanna punches in the sequence of chevrons. The stargate bursts into life, and when the event horizon forms Natasha types the code given into the G.D.O.

"You know I might have miscalculated the time between our nacre and their hour." Natasha decides to tell them before they walk through the stargate.

"Natasha, shut up!" Harmony says.

The stargate activates.

"Incoming traveller, its SG-3 sir" says a confused technician

"SG-3 are on down time for a week." General Hammond seems a little confused. "Close the Iris. Defence team to the gate room." the General says over the tannoy

"Sir, it could be the Nysians." Carter runs into the control room.

"Open the Iris!" Hammond orders. The Iris opens as Teal'c and O'Neill arrive through the side door of the gate room just in time to see the four girls, still in Nysian uniform, walk through the stargate.

"I told you this was a bad idea!" O'Neill shouts to Hammond in the control room. He then addresses the girls. "You don't look anything like SG-3, what happened to using your own signal?" his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"You saw me type in the correct code, these stupid things don't work." Natasha snaps at Serena, then promptly throws the G.D.O on the floor and stamps on it.

"Do you know how much that costs?" O'Neill shouts at Natasha.

"Nope, and I don't really care!" she snaps back.

"That's gonna come out of your wages!"

"You don't pay me, she does!" Natasha shouts back, pointing at Serena.

"Hey don't bring me into this!" Serena says, moving slightly away.

"Well you're still gonna have to pay for it!"

"Well if I got it wrong it's only because you told me the wrong code!" Natasha is really starting to get annoyed now.

"Oh yeah, that's right, arrive on our planet and start blaming us for your stupid mistakes."

"My mistakes! You - man!" Natasha says unable to think of an appropriate translation for what she wanted to say.

"Well done! Object recognition time, one point to the thick lady there"

"Careful, you might start talking about yourself." Natasha throws back, looking like she's about to explode.

General Hammond and Carter, who are still in the control room, look at each other trying to keep a straight face as they watch O'Neill and Natasha, throw insults at each other.

"Now, now, we'll have less of the bitching or I'll have to tell Daddy." O'Neill shouts, immediately regretting it though as Natasha completely loses her temper and storms down the ramp towards him. He doesn't have time to react as Natasha's fist comes in contact with his chin. The force of the blow sends him flying back and he hits the floor a couple of inches from the metal cupboard on the far side of the room. There is a triumphant cheer from Harmony, which is immediately stifled as he sits up, holding his chin in his hand. Serena has obviously had enough of the petty argument, and exits the gate room shouting something obscene-sounding in Nysian at Natasha as she passes them. O'Neill may not have understood the language but he had a pretty good idea as to what she meant.

General Hammond and Carter enter the gate room just in time to stop another outburst from Natasha and O'Neill.

"That is quite enough." he orders, then turns to Carter. "Show the others to their quarters." he says more calmly. "As for you two, my office now!" he commands before storming out of the door. There is silence in the gate room; Harmony and Deanna are still stood by the gate trying not to laugh, whilst O'Neill and Natasha are still looking at each other challengingly.

"When I said now I didn't mean in two hours!" an annoyed General shouts from down the hall. Natasha glances back at the still-highly-amused Harmony and Deanna and gives them an annoyed look, then follows O'Neill out of the doors and down the hall.

Deanna and Harmony giggle as they make their way down the ramp.

"Well that was a good start to the alliance." Deanna says still smirking.

"Is he always like that to visitors?" Harmony asks Carter.

"Well not usually, but Natasha did break $300 worth of G.D.O, come on I'll show you round" Carter offers as she walks out followed by Deanna and Harmony.


	3. Part 3

The dormitories are fairly plain, the walls are an air force grey and there are two metal framed bunk beds covered with simple green sheets. Serena does not seem very impressed with their accommodation; she is used to very elaborate rooms with heavily decorated furniture and a four-poster bed.

"This is outrageous; do you actually expect me to sleep in there?" She states pointing back into the room. "When you were with us, look at the quality of the secure quarters you were held in, there is a big difference." she moans.

"Um, Serena it's a different culture, I'm sure this is a standard dormitory, right?" Deanna says looking at Carter for some help before Serena loses her temper again.

"All SG personnel have the same sort of quarters when they are on base, however, most also have homes to go to, as you don't live on earth the house thing is gonna be a slight problem."

"Anyway, the quarters are acceptable!" Harmony inputs quickly. "Erm, where do the other members of your team - er - go? Like - uhm - Jonas...?" she adds, ducking her head a little to avoid the blush.

"Probably in the common area eating, I'll take you." Carter says as she walks down the corridor.

"Great! 'Cause I'm starving!" Harmony thinks of an excuse to cover her real reason for finding Jonas.

All four girls make the short trip to the elevator and descend to the level with the canteen on.

As they reach the double doors Carter says, "This is the common area, Jonas should be in here. I will go and inform the General of where you are."

Harmony is first through the door, her eyes immediately searching for Jonas. Jonas is sat in the middle of the common area eating a big plate of what appear to be curly fries and every so often dipping one into his big glass of thick chocolate milkshake.

"Jonas!" Harmony half squeals, giving up any pretence of being 'starving' as she runs over and hugs him before he has a chance to stand up.

"Harmony, what are you doing here?" Jonas says, surprised but happy to see her. Serena and Deanna join them at the table and each pull up a chair. Teal'c, who was a little confused at the outburst, is sat opposite Jonas with a tray full of all different types of fruit. Serena decides that she wants to try a piece and picks a grape off the stalk and throws it high into the air, waits for it to descend and then expertly catches it in her mouth. Teal'c opens his mouth to say something, but then settles for raising an eyebrow at Serena.

Meanwhile, Carter rounds the corner towards General Hammond's office, instead of knocking she decides it would be best if she just popped her head round the door and say the girls had settled in and are with Jonas and Teal'c in the common area. As she opens the door all she sees is an angry looking General stood behind his desk shouting something about protocol to a frustrated O'Neill who is stood with his back to the door next to Natasha. Carter decides it would probably be a good idea to leave, she closes the door quickly and half walks half runs back down the hall until she hears a very annoyed General shout,

"Major Carter my office now!" Carter stops and with an irritated look on her face slowly turns back and makes her back to the General's office. As she steps inside both Natasha and O'Neill turn round, both looking highly irritated. General Hammond closes the door behind Carter as she stand in between Natasha and O'Neill.

"Major Carter, have you no courtesy to knock before entering a General's office, what is it that you so desperately need to tell me that it couldn't wait until after I had finished reprimanding these insolent people?"

"General I apologise for my interruption but I thought it would be best to tell you that I have shown the girls their accommodation and they are now in the common area with Jonas and Teal'c."

"Thank you Major, maybe you could now show, The chief scientist where her friends are." General Hammond says.

"Yes sir." Carter then turns to Natasha and motions towards the door, as Carter and Natasha make it to the door they hear General Hammond.

"Colonel, since when are you a scientist?"

Carter and Natasha turn round to see O'Neill no more than two paces behind them trying to follow them out the door. At the General's words he rolls his eyes and clicks his fingers in a frustrated way and then turn backs to the General.

"Never, sir."

"Well then, I didn't give you permission to leave did I?"

Carter grabs Natasha's arm and pulls her out of Hammond's office before she gets in trouble for anything else today.

Back in the common area Serena is unsuccessfully teaching Teal'c how to catch grapes. She picks up a grape from Teal'c's plate and throws it up a little harder than she anticipated; as the grape goes up it also goes back and is destined to land on the floor behind Serena. That is until she swings right back on her chair using her foot to clasp the table to stop herself falling all the way over. What she doesn't realise is that one of the SF's is walking behind her at the time. She swigs back and throws her arms out for balance; the SF falls over her throwing his tray up as he falls. She catches the grape in her mouth just before a bit of orange Jell-O lands on her top. She quickly sits back up in time to see an angry looking SF with a tray full of food plastered to his head, sitting on the floor to the right of her, she giggles.

"Serves you right, you should have looked where you were going." She then turns back to the rest of her table and starts talking about how stupid men are on earth. The SF wipes the mash potato off the side of his face and deliberately flicks it at Serena; it misses her and lands in the big jug of water that is sat in the middle of the table causing water to splash out of the jug and onto the table. All five of them turn and glare at the SF. As he is getting up, Serena notices the piece of Jell-O on her sleeve and flicks it off. It hits the SF in the face. He retaliates throwing more mash potato at Serena, once again it misses her but hits Harmony. Jonas gets up walks around the table and immediately dumps the contents of his glass over the head of the SF. The chocolate milkshake splatters onto Deanna's leg. As Jonas makes his way back round the table, Deanna throws an apple at Jonas' head. Harmony immediately grabs the water jug and chucks it at Deanna, Deanna ducks which means the water collides with the next table drenching the whole of SG-5, the jug bouncing harmlessly across the floor. One of the members of SG-5 throws his apple crumble towards where the water came from. The apple crumble over flies the target and lands on an SF sat on the table behind Jonas. The SF picks up his bowl of ice cream and throws the contents in the general direction of the apple crumble thrower. The ice cream hits Teal'c on his bald head and sits there like a hat; Teal'c looks displeased and raises an eyebrow at the scared looking SF who has just turned round to see the Jaffa looking at him with the ice cream sat on his head. Everything goes quite as they all wait to see Teal'c's reaction. He does nothing other than raise an eyebrow and pop a grape into his mouth, as soon as he does so all hell breaks loose and even the cooks on the other side of the serving counter all start throwing food about, Teal'c just sits there looking surprised at the behaviour of everyone and every so often getting hit by items of food.

Stepping out of the elevator Samantha and Natasha are still giggling about previous Naquada experiments that went wrong. They make their way down the hallway towards the common area.

"So what's the big metal thing that closed over the stargate after we came through?" Natasha asks

"It's an iris. We learned from Dr Daniel Jackson's example on Abydos, and by the actions of the ancient Egyptians, that if the Gate is buried under a strong, substantial substance, it blocks the path of anyone or anything attempting to pass through it. Therefore, we built a giant iris which closes very quickly over the gate. The iris is so close to the event horizon, less than 10 micrometers, that it won't allow anything to rematerialize on our side. Therefore it will block anything from coming through the gate uninvited. If someone tries to come through the gate with the iris closed, their molecules would not have a chance to rematerialize in other words they would cease to exist." Carter explains as they round the corner and come in view of the common area doors. As they reach the double doors, Teal'c walks out of the doors covered in what appears to be orange Jell-O and whipped cream. Carter and Natasha stop dead in their tracks and stare then giggle even more at the sight.

"Teal'c, I didn't know you were going for the McVitie's look..." Carter says trying not to laugh aloud.

"I am not aware of the 'McVitie's Look'..." Teal'c says, one eyebrow raised. Tash looks at Carter.

"What is it?" she asks curiously.

"Original light sponge cakes with plain chocolate and a smashing orangey bit, I hate to say it Teal'c but you look like a Jaffa Cake!"

Teal'c raises his eyebrow in confusion.

"Major Carter, I have no knowledge of this 'Jaffa Cake'..." He says as he walks away.

Carter and Tash giggle as they walk in through the double doors to meet the other girls and grab some lunch. They walk in and allow the doors to swing back into place, as their giggling subsides they realise the common area is full of screaming people throwing all different kinds of food. Someone over the other side of the room throws a jar of something at Serena, Serena ducks and it collides with the doors between Carter and Tash splashing bits of blue Jell-O all over them. Tash takes a piece of the Jell-O that landed on her arm and studies it closely.

"What is it" Tash asks.

"That's blue Jell-O, they should know better than to throw blue Jell-O around when I'm here, I love the stuff." Carter gives the room a quick scan to see who threw it at them; an SF is stood at the other end of the room looking right at them with a shocked expression.

"Oh wow!" Tash says after eating the piece of Jell-O.

"Precisely, they shouldn't be throwing good food around" Carter says as she grabs the nearest custard pudding and throws it at the SF over the other side of the room who has turned round trying not to be seen, the custard pudding manages to do a triple loop in the air and lands right on the SF's head.

Tash gives a little girly scream as Jonas walks up to her and puts a cream sponge in her face, this sets her off and she grabs the nearest bowl and tips the contents over his head, unfortunately for Jonas the bowl was full of cold beans. He then turns and runs to the nearest table and picks up a jug of cold gravy, lobbing the contents in Natasha's general direction. Tash ducks out of the way causing Carter to be splattered from head to toe in cold lumpy gravy. Both women give Jonas a 'you're dead' look and each grab the nearest plate and throw it.

"Is that clear enough for you Colonel?" General Hammond says more calmly

"Yes sir."

"Right, I suggest that we go and find our guests so you can apologise, at least then we have some chance of having a treaty with these girls." Hammond says as he walks from behind his desk and out the door followed by O'Neill. They walk in silence until they get to the elevator.

"Where did Major Carter say the girls where?" Hammond asks

"She said they were with Jonas and Teal'c." O'Neill answers with a smirk on his face "That means they are in the mess hall eating." both men enter the lift chuckling. They arrive at the mess hall and walk in just as Carter throws a lemon meringue pie at Serena. Serena rolls under the nearest table causing the pie to over fly and land right on top of General Hammonds round bald head and sit there. The whole room goes silent and just stand there looking surprised. No one dares to speak as they watch General Hammond's face turn a slight shade of red. Carter is stood stock still staring at the General with a shocked-verging-on-terrified expression on her face. O'Neill however finds the fact that his second in command has thrown a lemon pie at the General rather funny.

"Nice hat you've got there General, but I'm pretty sure it's not regulation, sir." he says trying not to laugh.

"Neither are food fights in the mess hall, now you will all stay in here until I can see my reflection in the floor, I want this place spotless before any of you leave. That includes you Colonel." Hammond orders.

"But sir, I wasn't even in the food fight-!" O'Neill doesn't get the chance to finish his sentence.

"Because, Colonel I gave you an order and whilst they are here the girls are under SG-1's supervision." Hammond then walks out and orders two SF's to make sure no one leaves until they have cleaned the whole room, the SF's take their positions at the doors; they are the only ones who hear Hammond sniggering as he leaves.


End file.
